End of the Year Quiz!
(December 26, 2017)
It’s the end of another year, and I for one am too lazy and overfed right now to do any real work -- and I hope that you are too. In celebration, then, I want to briefly review some of what passed for high points in last year’s newsletters.
1) In the early 1960s, Nashville’s much-celebrated status as the American city with the worst air pollution most likely increased its residents’ future risk of what major health issue?
a) Spontaneous Elvis impersonations.
b) Sexual reassignment surgery.
c) Alice in Wonderland syndrome.
2) This bad habit increases people’s stress and gives them nothing of value in return, and therefore it should be completely avoided.
a) Flipping off the other drivers near the Foster Avenue exit.
b) Watching cat videos.
c) Playing fantasy football.
d) Obsessively reading internet news sites.
3) I don’t do sports medicine because:
a) I am a communist.
b) Athletes don't trust me.
c) Someone has to take care of regular people.
d) I think that most sports demand a level of performance that is inconsistent with real health and I am too old and cranky to enable that kind of thing anymore.
4) Fruit has the same sugar in it as a Little Debbie, so that means it is just as bad for you and you should eat bacon instead.
a) As long as the bacon is from a grass-fed pig, you’re golden.
b) Maybe not bacon, but baby back ribs are definitely better for you than grapefruit.
c) I don't know. What does Dr. Oz say?
d) No, no, no, no, NO! Fruit is GOOD for you!
5) You don’t have time to read actual health articles anymore. So you should keep up on the latest research by:
a) Looking at health-related headlines, as long as they are on natural health websites.
b) Finding out what Oprah is putting her money into this year.
c) Asking the buffest person at the gym what they do to stay healthy.
d) Find someone to talk to who DOES have time to read those articles.
6) Doctors hate their patients using the internet because:
a) It's really embarrassing when your patient comes up with a piece of information that you weren't aware of.
b) Your doctor has to get you out the door as fast as possible to meet his/her payroll and doesn’t want to have to take the time to convince you that you in fact do NOT have Chaga's Disease.
c) It’s easy for a layperson to get wrong ideas about health issues from the internet, and after a day full of that your doctor is very, very tired.
d) All of the above.
7) Why aren’t antioxidants trendy anymore?
a) Trick question. Antioxidants were never trendy. Neither was kale.
b) Because there is a lot more money to be made in things that can be patented.
c) They didn't live up to their early hype, and so everyone got annoyed and stopped talking about them.
d) No good reason, really. That's the thing about trends.
8) Chocolate is good for you.
a) And if wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
b) Uh uh. That was fake news, made up by a bunch of high school students in Macedonia.
c) Only if you eat it in place of Baconators.
d) It CAN be good for you, if you're choosy about the type and quantity of chocolate you eat.
9) Food cravings are a sign that you are deficient in the food that you are craving.
a) Don't we all wish.
b) True. In fact, prehistoric man almost went extinct because at the time you couldn't get Doritos ANYWHERE.
c) True. Funny how nobody ever craves broccoli, though.
d) False. Except MAYBE for salt.
10) If an athlete is promoting a new food, supplement or health device, it must be good because they know more about health and fitness than anyone.
a) Look at one of those videos of Muhammad Ali toward the end of his life and then tell me that HE knew how to take care of himself.
b) Not necessarily. Athletes will put their names on almost anything – they need money to pay their medical bills.
c) An athlete will do anything to give him/herself an edge over the competition, and that almost never means something that is good for them in the long run.
d) All of the above.
The answer to each question, of course, is (d).
That's it for 2017, all. Thank you for following my rantings for another year. Stay safe, and happy New Year!
--dr. diane holmes
Copyright © 2017