End of the Year (2020) Quiz!
(December 29, 2020)
And once again, let's test your knowledge of this past year's worth of newsletters. Because, you know, it's a slow week. At least it will be until we have another car bombing, or SARS-CoV-2 variant, or some other 2020 specialty.
1) Which of the following words or phrases is more obnoxious than “biohacking”?
2) Since genes influence your health, is there any point in altering your lifestyle to try to improve your health?
a) No, you're doomed. Have another danish.
b) No, because we're all going to die eventually, so why quibble over an extra thirty years or so?
c) Yes, because if you do stuff you don't like, the same amount of time passes more slowly and it SEEMS like you're living longer.
d) Yes, since they probably only have 10% or less influence on it. Your genetic makeup influences your longevity and your health -- it doesn't DETERMINE it.
3) Why are healthy habits so boring?
a) They are NOT boring. How will you ever know unless you try them?
b) Because you learned about them originally from a boring person.
c) Because you can always think of something else that you’d rather be doing.
d) Everything that’s good for you is boring. It’s a natural law. Just look, I mean really LOOK, at a cooked vegetable sometime.
4) What incredibly useful substance will boost your immune system to the point where you can live in as unhealthy a fashion as you want and not suffer any repercussions?
a) Blue-green algae.
b) Horny goat weed.
c) Mushrooms from the constellation Pleiades.
d) Trick question. There isn’t one. This is real life, not a Hollywood pandemic movie. Oh, wait, it is!
5) Bracelets set with gemstones imbued with the frequency and wavelength of the SARS-CoV-2 virus will protect you from getting covid-19 by:
a) Giving you a small electric shock every time you get within six feet of another person.
b) Stimulating your pineal gland to produce protective fairy dust.
c) Flashing different colors in warning when you get within spitting distance of a shapeshifting reptilian.
d) Another trick question. They don’t do anything except lighten your checking account a bit. (I really, really hope you got this one right.)
6) Why are testimonials for health products so common?
a) If someone really believes what they're saying, they can say all kinds of nonsense and be at least partly protected from liability for saying it.
b) Testimonials stop you from thinking by keeping you from asking for more information about the product. Because what kind of a monster would even QUESTION the story of the young mother whose life was saved?
c) The shock and horror of the physical appearance of the celebrity spokesperson (usually forty-plus years older than the last time you actually saw him/her) keeps you riveted to the screen for the entire commercial.
d) All of the above.
7) What questions should you be sure to ask yourself when seeing a testimonial for a health or medical product?
a) Does the person testifying to the efficacy of this product have a criminal record?
b) Why hasn't the manufacturer got the guts to tell me how great his stuff is himself?
c) Ye gods, how much plastic surgery has s/he HAD since their hit 1970s TV show? (see 6c above)
d) All of the above.
8) Experimental treatments
a) Are more likely than not to be ineffectual.
b) Are more likely than not to be gross and unpleasant.
c) Are more likely than not to be impossible to get.
d) Are just that -- experimental . Meaning NOT YET PROVED. So if given the choice, you should go with something that already has a proven track record.
9) What is the "Covid-15"?
a) After you have been forced into closer contact with someone Suspicious than you wished, it's the 15-minute period immediately afterwards, during which you experience illusory symptoms of covid-19.
b) The $15 extra per week MINIMUM you averaged in your cost of living during 2020 due to purchasing PPE, HEPA air filters, comfort food, a bigger television set, etc.
c) The 15 years that the stress of 2020 took off your life expectancy.
d) The 15 extra pounds you gained in 2020 because of comfort eating, lack of exercise and enforced cocooning.
10) The placebo effect:
a) Also works in reverse, so no matter how sure you are that a loved one will benefit from a medication, a doctor or a kelp smoothie, never force it on them.
b) Is just as potent, if not more so, in conventional medicine than it is in alternative medicine.
c) More often than not, is the body actually fixing the problem, so it is not to be sneered it.
d) All of the above.
As usual, the correct answer for all questions is "d)", although for 1) and for 9), any of the answers is as good as d).
Happy New Year! and may 2021 be your best ever! Or at least a considerable improvement over your 2020.
--dr. diane holmes
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